


Shuri and Peter Just Quoting Vines at the Old Guys

by ABookishSortOfLover (qwerty28274)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Deadpool is a nut, Gen, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Vines, i just, i need this in my life rn, i'm not going to list all the vines, it's a avocado thanks, so many vines, that one indie singer kitchen vine by crish, two bros vine, whoever threw that paper vine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-04-21 09:56:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14282433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qwerty28274/pseuds/ABookishSortOfLover
Summary: I don't even have an explanation for this.





	1. Chapter 1

Shuri smirked, noticing that the Captain and Sergeant Barnes were soaking in the hot tub again. She couldn't resist. Honestly, they made it too easy. She snuck a glance over at T'Challa, who was walking over, probably intent on talking to the two Americans. She jumped up and shouted, "TWO BROS, CHLLING IN A HOT TUB! FIVE FEET APART CUZ THEY'RE NOT GAY!"

T'Challa froze, nearly unable to believe what he'd just heard come from his sister's mouth. "Shuri?! Really?"

She grinned and scampered off, pulling out her phone to send Peter the video she'd just taken of Steve and Bucky's astonished faces. Man, she missed that nerd.

What she also missed was Steve and Bucky exchanging a bewildered look as she left, unable to decide if she _really_ didn't know that they were together, or if this was another odd young person thing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Featuring several vines and a couple memes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly this is so poorly written you guys at this point it's just trolling

"Shuri. Shuri."

"What?" She turned to Peter, the huge grin on his face matching hers.

"Hey, mom. _Yeet._ "

"What- what is-"

_"Yeet."_

"Best tell me what that is before you get yo ass _beat._ "

Peter snickered, his laughs getting louder as Rhodey turned to stare at the two, looking bewildered.

"What-?"

Shuri cackled, grabbing Peter's arm and dragging him into the kitchen. Her eyes lit up at the sight of avocados and bananas. "Best impression of an indie singer giving a house tour, go." She let go of him and pointed, smile growing wider at his giggle.

"Waelcome too mae kitchan. We have bahnahnaes and awvacadwdaes." He tossed one at her and she caught it deftly.

"Oh. It's a avocado. Fanks." She set it back on the counter, pretending to eye it warily. "Better be careful. Too many of those evil avocados and I won't be able to afford a home."

Sam walked in after that last sentence, his eyebrows furrowing. "I thought avocado toast was a milennial thing." He picked up an apple and took a a bite, arching an eyebrow at her. "Aren't you two Gen Z?"

Shuri and Peter exchanged an astonished look. 'Y-yeah, we are."

"I have never been identified as Gen Z by an adult once in my life." Shuri wiped away fake tears and stuck out her hand for a broshake. "You're a good man, Sam Wilson. A good man."

He chuckled and rolled his eyes, giving Shuri the handshake. "Uh huh. Go confuse some other old people. Leave Rhodes and me alone."

Peter gave him a mock salute and took Shuri's hand, towing her to the elevator.


	3. Chapter 3

Peter and Shuri were tossing a ball of paper back and forth, waiting for Tony to come down to the lab and give them access to all the lab features. He'd learned early on that giving them full lab access usually meant that they would blow something up without supervision just for fun.

Peter accidentally threw wide and hit Dum-E, who whirred annoyedly at him. Peter grinned and said, "What'd you say?"

"He said, 'whoever threw that paper, your mom's a ho!'"

The boy laughed as Dum-E shook his claw at him, whirring again with emphasis. "It's okay, Dum-E. I know you didn't. It's a vine, buddy." He patted his claw comfortingly.

Tony walked in and eyed the three warily. "Are you tormenting my bot?"

"No!"

"We would never." Shuri smirked.


	4. Chapter 4

Peter decided to fuck with Clint one day, so when he was sure Shuri was in the room, he struck up a conversation with the archer in sign language. Inevitably, Clint said something that would usually cause Peter to flip him off. Instead, he carefully signed, _S-M-W-D._

Clint’s brows furrowed, and out loud, he asked, “SMWD?”

Shuri’s head snapped up, and she shouted loudly, “SUCK MY WIGGLY DICK!”

Peter collapsed howling with laughter, and Clint groaned loudly.

“I hate the two of you.”


	5. Chapter 5

Peter had had a rough day. Bruce walked in while he was in the middle of complaining to Shuri, and suddenly he knew how to make the day better. “I just- I’ve got so many tests, and I’ve got a presentation, and I’m so stressed-”

Shuri laid a hand on his shoulder. “Peter. Calm down, chill out,” she put a pair of sunglasses on and got really close to his face, “Stop scrEAMING>”

Bruce’s eyes widened, and he backed out of the room slowly, hands raising in surrender.


	6. Chapter 6

“So, Shuri. Did you guys ever have to go to church or anything like that?”

Shuri laughed. “No, Peter. Religion is much different in Wakanda than it is here. There are very few Christians back home, and the few there are do not hate everyone like the backward white people here.”

Peter grinned. “So you don’t have those people who are like, ‘I LOVE JESUS, DAMMIT. That’s whae I go to church on Sundae.’?”

She snorted. “No, but I do love that vine.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Peter. When are you going to get a girlfriend and stop terrorizing us with Shuri?”

Peter put a hand over his chest and gave an affronted gasp. “Agent Coulson, I wanna church girl who go to church.”

“And read her Bibllee.” Shuri piped up from the corner of the room.

Phil groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose.


	8. Chapter 8

Shuri heard Peter shriek in the kitchen, and ran in, ready to fight someone. She found him staring betrayedly at his foot.

He looked up and met her eyes, pointing to his foot. “Somebody left an ice cube on the ground, and now my SOCK is wet. WHO READY TO FUCKIN DIE??”

There was snickering from the went above them, and Peter shot his web shooters in it, smirking when he heard a high pitched scream and a _thud._

“Serves you right, Barton!” Shuri called, high fiving the boy.


	9. Chapter 9

Shuri and Peter were staring into the kitchen, both dumb-founded at the sight in front of them. Thor had pulled out an industrial kitchen pot, and there was a vertiable mountain of Ramen packages on the counter beside it. 

“Holy shit.” Peter swore. “That’s gotta be two pallets of Ramen, a least.”

Shuri smirked. “Girl, they got a Ramen Noodley exhibit, you know that’s your favourite. Be careful, chirren, that’s a lotta sodium.”

Thor looked up and broke into a huge grin at the sight of them. “Ah, friends! Would you care for some Ramen? I have found it is very tasty!”

Peter laughed. “Sure, Thor. We’d love some.”


	10. Chapter 10

“Okay, real talk.” Peter stared Shuri down. “Have you ever had to kinkshame your brother?”

“What, you mean like ‘calling people Daddy is gross!’?”

Peter grinned. “Stop kinkshaming me.”

“Kinkshaming is my kink!”

Peter screamed for a few seconds and laughed. “But seriously. Because, like-”

Shuri smirked. “Because of his fursuit?”

Peter choked on the water he’d just taken a drink of.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> These updates are a result of deep emotional distress. Enjoy!

Natasha just happened to be walking by the open bathroom door one day, when she caught a flash of red out of the corner of her eye. She backed up slowly just in time to see Peter, wearing all of the Spider Man suit but the mask, wearing blacked out swimming goggles, and filming himself say-

“It is Wednesday my dudes. AaaAAAAHHHHH.”

She quickly walked away, really not wanting to know what was going on.


	12. Chapter 12

They were mid battle one day when Peter side-stepped a doom bot just wrong and got slammed to the ground by another.

Tony and Hulk rushed to Peter’s side as Shuri called out, “He need some milk!” and turned her blasters on another doombot.

Steve levelled her with a glare overshadowed by the Eyebrows of Disappointment and she shot him a cheeky grin as Peter groaned and sat up. 

He shot one of the doombots down with a taser web and chimed in with, “He DED!”

Shuri cackled.


	13. Chapter 13

“Do you ever just walk up to the school, and you’re like _nope,_ just ‘fuck this shit I’m out’? Ya know?”

“Peter. I don’t go to school.”

Peter glared at her. “That wasn’t the part you were suppost to focus on. The point was-”

“If I have my brother drop you in that trashcan, will you sing the song?” Shuri smiled at him sweetly, and Peter couldn’t help but laugh.

“Yes. I will definitely do that.”

\---

T’Challa felt slightly bad about ambushing the spider kid, but really, Shuri had told him to, and he started singing immediately after he was dropped in the trashcan, so he was probably fine.


	14. Chapter 14

Shuri and Peter happened to walk into the kitchen in the middle of what looked like a full scale war between Wanda and Pietro.

“You ate my Cheetos, you little shit!” Wanda cried, using her powers to pull things off of the shelves and throwing them at her brother.

The speedster dodged everything easily, shouting at her, “I did not! I told you it was Clint!”

The younger pair exchanged a glance, and at the same time began singing, “Why the fuck you lyin’? Why you always lying’? Mmm oh my god. Stop fucking lyin’!” They cracked up and Shuri turned to Wanda. 

“We totally saw him eating your Cheetos.”

Wanda scowled and beaned Pietro in the head with a box of cereal as he stood watching Shuri with a slack jaw.


	15. Chapter 15

“Clint, I need your help. I wanna prank Shuri.”

The archer eyed Peter warily. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. It involves a glass, a raw egg, and her head.”

The blonde man grinned. “I’m listening.”

\---

“Hey, Shuri.” Peter set a glass on the kitchen island and held up an egg.

She grinned knowingly with her back to Clint. “Yes?”

“Do you think I can get this egg in that cup without it cracking?”

“No.”

He threw the egg and hit Clint dead in the forehead saying, “I guess you were right,” and sprinting out of the room.

“That little-” Clint took off after him like a shot, leaving Shuri rolling on the floor laughing.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: Peter and Shuri are teenagers in this fic. Spideypool is NOT, I repeat, is NOT a go.
> 
> Just in case anyone was worried.

“Oh, hey, ‘Pool.” Shuri nodded to the mercenary as he joined their battle. The only odd thing about today’s battle was that the doombots were slightly larger than normal.

“Princess.” He took out a couple ‘bots at once with some miniature rocket launchers that Shuri had made for him. “New weapons are working great.”

“Well they should. I designed them.”

He laughed and got distracted when Peter swung by. “Spidey babe! How’s it hanging?”

Peter took out three bots and then hung above Wade upside down from a lamp post. “Deadpool. Hey, so my brother pushed me the other day, so now I’m starting a kickstarter to put him down. Benefits of putting him down would be I get pushed way less.”

Deadpool’s eyes widened, the reaction reflected through his mask. “Spidey! So cold-blooded! I didn’t know you had it in you.” He pulled some ones from his belt and threw them at Peter. “There you go, baby. Live your dream.”

Peter scoffed and batted away the bills. “Don’t throw money at me like I’m a stripper, dammit.”

Shuri cackled.


	17. Chapter 17

“Peter.”

“Yeah?”

“What would you do if you were in one of those Taken movies?”

“You mean the ones that are, like, ‘25,000 dollars or your daughter’s gonna be dead, ya hear me?’”

She grinned at the Irish accent, glad he’d caught on. “Yeah, that one. Becuase personally, I would probably be like, ‘oh dat’s too high. You gotta discount, sumting like dat?’”

“Shuri. You’re the princess of literally the richest country in the world.” Peter barely supressed his laughter at the Indian accent coming from the girl.

She shrugged. “So?”


	18. Chapter 18

Peter walked into the common area one day, calling, “Whaddup, it’s ya boy, uh-”

“SKINNY PENIS!” Shuri shouted, but her mouth was full of cereal, so it came out more like “shkinney peenifff,” but Peter grinned all the same, because the _look_ on T’Challa’s face was so horrified. It was the thought that counted.


End file.
